Is It the Game or The Players?

In the world of online dating, people can be easily made to feel as if they are dispensible and replaceable. Not the best feeling in the world. That being said, I try very hard to always communicate with anyone who reaches out to me-even if it's 'thanks for the note, good luck to you." I have sent probably hundreds of winks, flirts and e-mails to potential mates online that have gone unreturned. (That doesn't make me sound too good, does it?)

The game for me has involved men not showing their best practices in staying true to their word. I will admit, I have done that as well on rare, rare occasion. You got me. Busted.

However, when the rare gem slides through who does reply, it usually goes like this: e-mails, phone call, date. So why when the even rarer gem appears that actually sends texts and/or calls when he says he's going to, do I sometimes begin to lose interest? Is it the game or the players?

This just happened recently: I got a text from someone who I was in between dates # 1 and 2 with. I looked at my phone, rolled my eyes and said to my cousin Dara,"why does he call or text every day?!". What she said next stuck in my brain: "When a guy goes M.I.A., you get pissed off. This one's actually following through and you're still pissed. What's that about?" The answer: I have no idea.

Maybe it's because I'm already pretty aware that he's not "The One". Maybe it's because I'm in love with "the chase"...you know: that ridiculous little game daters play to make the other one wonder, worry and wonder some more. Even though I'm pretty sure it's the former, not the latter, it made me think: is it the game (dating) or the players (that he and I are not the right fit?).

Since I am weeks away from officially being in my mid-thirties, I like to think that I am evolved enough to be past the thrill of the chase. I do, in all honesty want a reliable, communicative mate. Just not the wrong reliable, communicative mate.

I guess the fact that as I was preparing for date # 2, I briefly contenplated wearing my glasses told me something. I don't even like to wear my glasses to the grocery store. As I put in my contact lenses, I think I realized that I just don't feel a spark with this particular person. This made me feel more like it was the players, not the game, ansd less like a, well, bitch, to put it simply.

So, this player will stay in the game as long as I need to in order to find someone who I wouldn't dream of wearing my glasses in front of on our second date. Third date, maybe...