First Impressions

I am going to be honest here: the pictures of myself I have posted on these dating sites are indeed recent. Recent and flattering. There's no picture of me with no make-up, messy hair or not smiling. Is that someone you'd want to contact, let alone date? I am no supermodel, but I can hold my own in the looks department (my mom says so!) and want to give men a true representation of real me.

I often "browse" the profiles online...shallow or not, I open the profiles of the men I find physically attractive. Once I read their profiles, I am given more insight as to whether or not I think we would hit it off in the future. But it all starts with that picture---that first impression.

I continue to be baffled at the pictures some men post. I have seen pictures of men with hands over half of their face, scowling, smoking, drinking and my personal favorite, pictures with women who are obviously not their mothers. That makes me hesitate---big time. I am instantly made to think that this guy hangs around with women every night of the week and could not possibly have room for one more in his life.

You gotta think about the first impression! What will draw a potential mate into your profile? How can I come across as myself, albeit the most wonderful, perfect, you're not going to be able to live without me version of myself? For starters, all of my pictures are of me. Alone. They are all close up. Why, oh, why would I want to see a picture of you standing far, far away? If I can't see your eye color, you're too far away.

I have had first hand experience with this one. I saw a profile that was super funny and witty. I was intrigued, but his picture was from a distance. So, I really couldn't tell what this man looked like. I fought my instincts and contacted him anyway. In the end, we met for coffee (I should buy stock in one particular coffeehouse, I spend so many first dates there), and I saw just WHY his picture was not a close-up. Next.

So, if you are reading this and are also an online dater, please know that these are the things that are good choices in profile pictures: solo and up close, little kids (maybe mention who they are in your profile--yours or loaners from friends), pictures with pets, and the like. Poor choices include: group pictures (why are you hiding behind that person at the bar? Hey, your friend on the right is pretty damn cute...is he single, too?), far away pictures and pictures of a person with the opposite sex. And for heavens sake, smile!

As much as we say that we know that looks fade and are not the most important thing in the world, no one initiates contact with a person they don't find attractive. Right or wrong, that's the way it goes. So, put your best face forward and upload a flattering, smiley picture of yourself. Because, as the saying goes: you never get a second chance to make a first impression. And with thousands of people online at any given moment, you've got to make that first impression a good one.