Seriously? Seriously.

Ahhh, the first impression. You never get a second chance to make one. That is precisely what an online dating profile is: a first impression. We all know you are made up of good and bad, Angel and Devil, as are the rest of us. But, c'mon...play up your the good things you have to offer a potential mate, rather than show the, um, less flattering and odd things aobut yourself.

The following are some of the more "unusual" comments I have come across in various profiles written by men who think they are really making a good first impression. Naturally, I will throw my two cents in because, well, that's what I do.

I like petite women who are playful and passionate, a bit naughty, but sweet. SIZE 5 OR LESS PLEASE. Um, ok, pal. Not shallow or superficial. Not at all.

So there are no surprises, I am very bi-curious and looking for someone who is looking for or willing to let me experiment in the arena. Keep looking. She doesn't live here...

Rated R- for mature viewers only Cute...not.

I'M A GENEROUS, WELL NOT REALLY , IM YOU KNOW JEWISH .I'M EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY STABLE MAN , I HAVE A NICE HOME I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU AS LONG AS YOU CHIP IN. Yeah, you're not a neanderthal.

Love is the passion that moves my soil What does that even mean?!

I could be passionate about tying my shoes in the morning Contratulations. How special for you.

And the winner is...

I am thankful to Jesus, for selfelssly dying on the cross, so that we may have forgiveness... Seriously? Seriously. Now, just to clarify, I am all for someone holding tight to their religious views, but for the love of Pete, I don't need to know about when I read your profile.

This is what is out there to choose from, people..And my Grandmother wonders why I am still single.