Although it's likely not true, I feel as if I've met every type of man there is out there to be met.
Cute guys
Nice guys
I wish they were at least my height guys
Guys who are Dads
Guys who kiss bad
Feminine walking guys
Don't let you get a word in edgewise when talking guys
Guys who are a bore
Guys who loudly snore
One afternoon guys
Never show up after saying "I'll see you soon" guys
Guys who are fake
Guys who just take, take, take
Sweet guys
All they are looking for is meat guys
Guys I wish I didn't know
Guys I've had to let go
Guys with big hearts
Guys with whom I was hopeful to start
Guys with who I wish there was no end to the night
I've met them all...except for Mr. Right
6.30.2009
6.21.2009
You Can't Make This Stuff Up!
I have a serious crush on the actor that plays Dr. Troy on Nip/Tuck. Julian McMahon is sexy, tall and has an australian accent. So, naturally, when I was crusing profiles online, and saw someone who resembeled Mr. McMahon, I contacted him.
Much to my surprise, this tall, sexy man contacted me back. After a couple of rounds of e-mails, he asked for my number. A number popped up shortly thereafter that I didn't recognize, so I let it go to voicemail. After dialing my voicemail passcode, I heard something I couldn't believe: this tall, sexy man who reminded me of my crush had...an accent! I instantly had butterflies.
I waitited a respectable amount of time to return his call (40 seconds is respectable, right?) and we instantly hit it off. He was funny-sarcastic funny-my favorite kind, well spoken and easy to talk to. Our schedules legitimately kept a first date at bay for two weeks, but after a couple of days, we fell into a routine of calls and texts.
Our first date was a weeknight in April. We met up and hopped in his convertible for a drive. Normally, a coffee house is much more my first date speed, but I went in full force on this one. We drove to the beach, talking, joking and laughing the whole way. But, there was a voice in my head that said that this man was not my prince charming. Maybe it was the fact that the collar of his hot pink polo was turned up... I support a man's right to wear pink, but this was, well, too pink.
In the interest of thinking outside the box and keeping an open mind, I pushed the voice away and really did enjoy the evening. Once we got to the beach, we had a really lovely time. Ok, his walk was swagger-less and he carried an, um, "man bag" kind of thing that was Louis Vuitton. Obviously a man of taste, right? Maybe a little too much taste.
So, we parted ways and I proceeded to e-mail my friends a detailed account of my evening. I mentioned the beach, the drive, the accent, but left out the words hot, pink, man and bag. I knew what this man was made of, but failed to type my suspicions to my friends.
Later that day, the most infamous text in my personal texting hisory reached my inbox. It was from Mr. Manbag. It went a little something like this "I meant to tell you that I'm bisexual". Pardon? My heart stopped for a second, despite the fact that I knew something was a little too rainbow colored for me all along. The text I sent back requested clarification. Why I bothered, I don't know. Don't get me wrong: I am all for the wavers of the rainbow flag. In fact, one of my dearest friends in the world is a gay man. But, when I picture my wedding someday, it does not involve the groom looking more fabulous in a wedding dress than me.
My clarification from Mr. Manbag was actually a rude and sexually explicit retort. I was angry, embarassed and well, DONE. I was angry at myself for ignoring my gut, embarassed because I pursued this and done with this person because, well, wouldn't you be at this point?
More than a year later, as I write these words, I think about the fact that I am so grateful I went on that date. It's a great, funny story to tell and maybe somewhere down the line, I will bump into Mr. Manbag and pass along my gay friend's number.
Much to my surprise, this tall, sexy man contacted me back. After a couple of rounds of e-mails, he asked for my number. A number popped up shortly thereafter that I didn't recognize, so I let it go to voicemail. After dialing my voicemail passcode, I heard something I couldn't believe: this tall, sexy man who reminded me of my crush had...an accent! I instantly had butterflies.
I waitited a respectable amount of time to return his call (40 seconds is respectable, right?) and we instantly hit it off. He was funny-sarcastic funny-my favorite kind, well spoken and easy to talk to. Our schedules legitimately kept a first date at bay for two weeks, but after a couple of days, we fell into a routine of calls and texts.
Our first date was a weeknight in April. We met up and hopped in his convertible for a drive. Normally, a coffee house is much more my first date speed, but I went in full force on this one. We drove to the beach, talking, joking and laughing the whole way. But, there was a voice in my head that said that this man was not my prince charming. Maybe it was the fact that the collar of his hot pink polo was turned up... I support a man's right to wear pink, but this was, well, too pink.
In the interest of thinking outside the box and keeping an open mind, I pushed the voice away and really did enjoy the evening. Once we got to the beach, we had a really lovely time. Ok, his walk was swagger-less and he carried an, um, "man bag" kind of thing that was Louis Vuitton. Obviously a man of taste, right? Maybe a little too much taste.
So, we parted ways and I proceeded to e-mail my friends a detailed account of my evening. I mentioned the beach, the drive, the accent, but left out the words hot, pink, man and bag. I knew what this man was made of, but failed to type my suspicions to my friends.
Later that day, the most infamous text in my personal texting hisory reached my inbox. It was from Mr. Manbag. It went a little something like this "I meant to tell you that I'm bisexual". Pardon? My heart stopped for a second, despite the fact that I knew something was a little too rainbow colored for me all along. The text I sent back requested clarification. Why I bothered, I don't know. Don't get me wrong: I am all for the wavers of the rainbow flag. In fact, one of my dearest friends in the world is a gay man. But, when I picture my wedding someday, it does not involve the groom looking more fabulous in a wedding dress than me.
My clarification from Mr. Manbag was actually a rude and sexually explicit retort. I was angry, embarassed and well, DONE. I was angry at myself for ignoring my gut, embarassed because I pursued this and done with this person because, well, wouldn't you be at this point?
More than a year later, as I write these words, I think about the fact that I am so grateful I went on that date. It's a great, funny story to tell and maybe somewhere down the line, I will bump into Mr. Manbag and pass along my gay friend's number.
6.17.2009
Oops, I Did It...Again
Anyone who knows me, knows that I may be a halfway decent writer, but have been known to put my foot in my mouth. A lot.
Exhibit A: I was a waitress a long time ago, and, as I was taking a customer's order, asked when she was due. You guessed it: she was not pregnant. Nor was she going to leave me a tip at the end of her meal served to her by the dumbest woman alive. Note to self: never ask that question unless you see a woman's water break in front of you.
You would think that would teach me to think ahead and be more careful, right? Nope, not me.
Last year, I went on a first date with Don. We had a nice enough time and I was open to getting to know him better. However, as any dater knows, it's either feast or famine. Drought or downpour-you get the point. Since I had been chatting with Don, I had also connected with Tom online. Tom and I had been exchanging e-mails, and he finally asked for my number, stating in an e-mail that he'd call me early that week. Back to Don: we had also exchanged numbers prior to meeting and being "Supersticious Sally", I never put men's numbers in my cell as an official contact for fear that I was never going to see their name pop up on my caller id.
So, as I expected, my cell phone rang early in the week as Tom had promised. Naturally, the number was not familiar to me, so I assumed it was Tom. I sat up straight, cleared my throat and answered with a smooth "hello...". A man's voice said, "Hi Julie" and I said, "oh, hey, Tom." Do you see where this is going? Yes, you guessed it...it was not Tom, but Don, the date from the night before. OOPS! Don was upset and I was beyond embarrassed...the magnitude was up there with my faux pas with the seemingly pregnant woman I waited on years before.
Now, after one date, I was certainly far, far away from being in any kind of committed place with Don. It was well within my right to see other men at the same time, but I would never intentionally shove that in someone's face. So, right off the bat with Don, feelings were hurt and tensions were a bit high. Date number two was filled with little jabs by Don about my phone error. Maybe I deserved it, mabe I didn't, but we never did make it to date number three.
Oh, and what happened with Tom, you may wonder? Nada. He never called.
Something constructive did come from this little situation: the next time I exchanged numbers with someone, I put those digits right into my contacts. Deleting a number from your cell is sooooo much simpler than saying you're sorry.
Exhibit A: I was a waitress a long time ago, and, as I was taking a customer's order, asked when she was due. You guessed it: she was not pregnant. Nor was she going to leave me a tip at the end of her meal served to her by the dumbest woman alive. Note to self: never ask that question unless you see a woman's water break in front of you.
You would think that would teach me to think ahead and be more careful, right? Nope, not me.
Last year, I went on a first date with Don. We had a nice enough time and I was open to getting to know him better. However, as any dater knows, it's either feast or famine. Drought or downpour-you get the point. Since I had been chatting with Don, I had also connected with Tom online. Tom and I had been exchanging e-mails, and he finally asked for my number, stating in an e-mail that he'd call me early that week. Back to Don: we had also exchanged numbers prior to meeting and being "Supersticious Sally", I never put men's numbers in my cell as an official contact for fear that I was never going to see their name pop up on my caller id.
So, as I expected, my cell phone rang early in the week as Tom had promised. Naturally, the number was not familiar to me, so I assumed it was Tom. I sat up straight, cleared my throat and answered with a smooth "hello...". A man's voice said, "Hi Julie" and I said, "oh, hey, Tom." Do you see where this is going? Yes, you guessed it...it was not Tom, but Don, the date from the night before. OOPS! Don was upset and I was beyond embarrassed...the magnitude was up there with my faux pas with the seemingly pregnant woman I waited on years before.
Now, after one date, I was certainly far, far away from being in any kind of committed place with Don. It was well within my right to see other men at the same time, but I would never intentionally shove that in someone's face. So, right off the bat with Don, feelings were hurt and tensions were a bit high. Date number two was filled with little jabs by Don about my phone error. Maybe I deserved it, mabe I didn't, but we never did make it to date number three.
Oh, and what happened with Tom, you may wonder? Nada. He never called.
Something constructive did come from this little situation: the next time I exchanged numbers with someone, I put those digits right into my contacts. Deleting a number from your cell is sooooo much simpler than saying you're sorry.
6.11.2009
Don't Forget to Write...
Ok, so it's happened to all of us in the online dating world. You see someone who piques your interest, so you carefully type out a cute, wtity, short and sweet e-mail to express your interest.
Spelling and grammar error- free: check
Reference to something they wrote in their profile to show that you did indeed read it: check
Subltle little hints at how amazing and wonderful you are and that they'd be nuts to not date you: check
Hitting the send icon: check
Cue the crickets.
I am not a supermodel, nor am I the ugliest woman on the planet. I'm fairly attractive. People besides my mom have told me so. So, what's with the silence after the send button is hit?
I wish I knew.
I will be honest-it lends itself to the thinking that there is something majorly wrong that comes across in your profile pictures that can't be seen in one's own reflection in the mirror. Logically, that's not it. There has to be a reason-a real reason.
One of the nicest "rejections" I have ever gotten was recently. I e-mailed someone who was of interest to me and he wrote me back thanking me for the note and wishing me luck in my search. There is was...he was not interested in dating me, but at least he told me so. That's how it's done-no element of the unknown, and exercising the manners and, quite frankly, respect to let someone know that you are not on the same page. Bravo to you, BaseballBill0473*!
So, the short of it is this: when someone puts themself out there and reaches out, write them back...good or bad, they deserve to know. True, you don't owe them a thing...you paid your monthly fee to use the service and are free to do so anyway you choose, but doing wht's right takes an extra 10 seconds. That is time well spent-I promise.
*I have no idea who BaseballBill0473 is...I totally made that username up.
Spelling and grammar error- free: check
Reference to something they wrote in their profile to show that you did indeed read it: check
Subltle little hints at how amazing and wonderful you are and that they'd be nuts to not date you: check
Hitting the send icon: check
Cue the crickets.
I am not a supermodel, nor am I the ugliest woman on the planet. I'm fairly attractive. People besides my mom have told me so. So, what's with the silence after the send button is hit?
I wish I knew.
I will be honest-it lends itself to the thinking that there is something majorly wrong that comes across in your profile pictures that can't be seen in one's own reflection in the mirror. Logically, that's not it. There has to be a reason-a real reason.
One of the nicest "rejections" I have ever gotten was recently. I e-mailed someone who was of interest to me and he wrote me back thanking me for the note and wishing me luck in my search. There is was...he was not interested in dating me, but at least he told me so. That's how it's done-no element of the unknown, and exercising the manners and, quite frankly, respect to let someone know that you are not on the same page. Bravo to you, BaseballBill0473*!
So, the short of it is this: when someone puts themself out there and reaches out, write them back...good or bad, they deserve to know. True, you don't owe them a thing...you paid your monthly fee to use the service and are free to do so anyway you choose, but doing wht's right takes an extra 10 seconds. That is time well spent-I promise.
*I have no idea who BaseballBill0473 is...I totally made that username up.
6.08.2009
Sam I Am...Not Interested
Online dating fosters a lot of rejection. Sad, but true. Whether it's accurate or not, I feel as if I am usually the rejectee. On occcassion, however, I am on the flip side of that coin. Case in point: Sam. This man contacted me, which led me to reviewing his profile. I was not "wowed" immediately, but I am trying to cast a wider net and be more open minded. He was attractive enough and his profile was well written with no spelling errors (sorry...I'm a teacher, it's my thing). So, I contacted him with a short and sweet note telling him I would like to chat and get to know him better. His turn: he asked for my phone number. My turn: I gave it to him. His turn: He called the next night-at 11:15 P.M. Now, I am not usually one to make phone calls just to chat at that time of night to people I actually know. I thought it was a bit odd and even borderline inappropriate. I would not even call my own sister at that time of night unless I was having some kind of crisis. Not to mention, I had fallen asleep on the couch and he woke me up....BAD move. Nonetheless, he apologized for calling so late (did I mention that was the first time he ever called me?) and said he'd call me the next day. He did and left a voicemail for me. It went something like this: "Hi Julie, it's Sam. Sorry I missed you. I am on my way to the gym, then off to meet up with friends and hang out for the night. I try to stay very active and busy. Call me back when you get a chance." Agree with me or not, but that kind of turned me off. In my opinion, if a stranger feels the need to tell you how social and busy he is, he is trying to prove something...perhaps convince me that he is super social and super cool and I best hurry and call him back before I miss my tiny window of opportunity to talk to him. That coupled with the fact that my interest in his profile was debateable, helped me decide I didn't wish to proceed. When you meet someone online, they are a stranger at first and it's important to keep it cool and casual upfront. That does not translate to not returning calls or ignoring someone, mind you. There is a right way to let someone who has taken the time to contact you know that you are not interested. And it goes like this" "Hi Sam, it's Julie. Thanks for the call. After thinking it over, I don't think we are a good fit, but I wish you the best of luck." Done. I will never apologize for not wanting to date someone, but anyone who blantantly ignores someone who has reached out to them should be sorry for their poor ettiquete. All too often, we tend to forget that there is a real person with feelings on the other side of that profile. Just because I don't want to date them, does not make it ok to be rude. I believe in karma, I believe in manners and I believe my Mr. Right is out there somewhere...it's just not Sam.
6.07.2009
Welcome...How Did I Get Here?
Hello to anyone who is reading this! What you will read on my blogs are all about my varied experiences (past and present) from dating online. The idea that I should actually type them out and blog them is the brainchild of my amazing friend, realtor, warrier and mother of two: Lyra. Lyra has known me since I was 16 and I have shared (and obsessed over) every relationship, odd guy behavior, and hope, dream and fear with her. And she listens to me. Everytime. I'm a lucky girl.
But, back to the point of this blog. How did I get here? I have been in and out of the world of online dating for just about seven years. That is not a typo. After the heartbreaking end of my first true-blue committed relationship in my 2o's, I forged ahead and got online to try to meet someone new. After many first and second dates ( and even a little 6 week-er in there), I eventually did meet someone. Joe* and I fell in love and after a year of dating decided to move in together. That's when things really got interesting. More on that another time. Needless to say, we broke up (otherwise my blog would be called All About My Lovely Life With Joe) and I have been continuing in my search for Mr. Right ever since then.
It's logical and accurate to think that someone who has been dating for a long time (especially online) would have many stories to share. And I do...but this is not just about throwing men under the bus for the "guy things" that I have experienced, nor is this about sharing every little experience. This is really about trying to help others in my situation sort through this online dating thing. The wrongs and rights (according to me) and most importantly...it's a way to try to let the thousands upon thousands of fellow online daters out there know that they are not alone and they are not crazy. And not crazy for feeling alone.
So, why should you care? You don't have to...not one bit. But maybe my blog will entertain and/or enlighten you. Maybe you will share an online dating tip that has worked for you. Anyway you slice it, we're in it together now.
*Names have been changed to protect those who ended our two and a half year relationship via e-mail (also not a typo)
But, back to the point of this blog. How did I get here? I have been in and out of the world of online dating for just about seven years. That is not a typo. After the heartbreaking end of my first true-blue committed relationship in my 2o's, I forged ahead and got online to try to meet someone new. After many first and second dates ( and even a little 6 week-er in there), I eventually did meet someone. Joe* and I fell in love and after a year of dating decided to move in together. That's when things really got interesting. More on that another time. Needless to say, we broke up (otherwise my blog would be called All About My Lovely Life With Joe) and I have been continuing in my search for Mr. Right ever since then.
It's logical and accurate to think that someone who has been dating for a long time (especially online) would have many stories to share. And I do...but this is not just about throwing men under the bus for the "guy things" that I have experienced, nor is this about sharing every little experience. This is really about trying to help others in my situation sort through this online dating thing. The wrongs and rights (according to me) and most importantly...it's a way to try to let the thousands upon thousands of fellow online daters out there know that they are not alone and they are not crazy. And not crazy for feeling alone.
So, why should you care? You don't have to...not one bit. But maybe my blog will entertain and/or enlighten you. Maybe you will share an online dating tip that has worked for you. Anyway you slice it, we're in it together now.
*Names have been changed to protect those who ended our two and a half year relationship via e-mail (also not a typo)
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