Follow Through

There is an awesome song out there called "Follow Through" by Gavin DeGraw. The words go a little something like this : If you want to be with me, you have to follow through with every word you say." There is obviously more to this song, but that is the general idea. It seems like such a simple concept-right? Yes, in the real world. In the online dating world, maybe not.

I have had some great dates with men. Dates where you feel a certain spark or connection. Dates where you think at the very least: this is someone I'd like to get to know better. When the date ends, many men tell me they will call me again. Of the men I actually hear back from, there is often another date planned. Here's where it gets strange: some of these men then vanish. Disappear. Move to another country that does not have phones or Internet (hey, a girl's gotta tell herself whatever she can to help her sleep). But when I am not lying to myself, I do face the reality: he's just not that into dating me. That is fine...really. Not everyone wants to date everyone. But, then please, don't make plans with me and then fall of the face of the Earth. In other words: follow through.

What are you afraid of? If you contact me and tell me that we are not right to date, do you think that I will go off on some tangent about how men are horrible, indecisive creatures who cannot and will not commit? I wouldn't say that, because I don't think it's true. What I would do in that situation (given the opportunity), is thank him for his honesty. Really.

I have had to give the "thanks but no thanks" line. (I word it much nicer than that, promise). And everyone I have ever said this to has thanked me for my honesty. I showed them the respect they deserved as a human being and treated like them someone with feelings.

I try very hard to keep my dating karma super clean because I believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that what goes around comes around. So, I treat others the way I would want to be treated. And if you are dating, (or walking around out there in general) I highly recommend you make a special point to do the very same.

Take a listen to the song I referenced above. The words help me remember what separates the men from the boys.