Run Away...

When I told my friend Mark the following story, he used two smiple words :"Run Away." When I told my cousin Dara (one of my many, many recruited dating therapists) the same story, she said "Get up, go to the sink and wash your hands, because you're done with this person."

This story is a little more unusual than the other stories I have to tell. I think it's an attention grabber...but you be the judge.

When I started chatting with Jay, he was funny and conversational. He was educated, polite, well spoken and gainfully employed. Too good to be true? You betcha.

Our first date was really nice. There seemed to be some chemistry, and we had great conversation and lots of laughs. He even called the very next night. Wow.

During the course of the next week, we communicated via text messaging (a technological blessing as well as a curse) and I got the sense that he was super busy at work, which I fully understood. He doesn't work in a button factory looking for irregulars, he does have a stressful, demanding job. When we finally did connect voice to voice, I was really happy to hear from him. I asked him how his week was and he launced into a full scale rant about all the things that are wrong with his job, and then his life. Whoa partner! We've had one date...

I suggested that I would understand if given all the stresses in his life at the moment, if he felt he wasn't ready to date at this time. (I am just that wonderfully understanding and supportive). He insisted that was not the case. So, then, in a grand effort to keep things light and breezy, I suggested that we meet for a quick coffee over the weekend and not talk about work, but lighter fare. Silence. I mean look at my phone to see if we got disconnected silence followed by, "Look Julie, I'm in a bad mood and don't know what my plans are." Alrighty, then.

I wanted to get off the phone...badly. So, I told him that I hope he felt better and that we would touch base whenever we touched base. The snap shut of my phone was almost immediately followed by a lengthy apology text from Jay, regretting his poor conversational skills that evening.

Hey, look: I am the Queen of bad days and grumpy moods. However, I generally stay off the phone when I am feeling this way for fear of making someone in my life feel bad if I grump at them. But, I would never, I repeat never, show this color to someone I have had just one date with. If I can't ask you how work is going without you going nuts on me, what's going to happen the 376th time I ask you to put the toilet seat down? I'm not gonna stick around to find out the answer to that one.

Two days later, Jay called me to offer a formal apology for what happened 48 hours before. Then he asked me out for coffee. I quickly tried to explain that I didn't think we are meant to date, but I wish him the best of luck. His response? "I can't apologize anymore for what I did.". Um, I'm not asking you to, I just want to get off the phone! The conversation then spiraled into an odd tangent of Jay asking me if I am angry and would I snub him if I bumped into him in public oneday. Hello? One date. We've had one date...he was acting as if we were ending a six month relationship, rather than a six hour one. And I thought I was the winner of the little game called "beating a dead horse.". I've been de-throned.

After 20 some-odd taxing minutes of this ridiculous merry-go-round, we wished one another the best of luck (something I tried to do 17 minutes before) and ended our bizarre little connection along with our phone call.

Wow.

I am not a quitter, but Mark was right...I was so glad to, from this one, run away. And thanks to Dara's words of wisdom, my hands are squeaky clean.